229 Quotes

Gathered since 2014...

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1. "If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong." - House
2. “This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.” – Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wall Flower 
3. "Trust that truth is sometimes stronger than one moment's misunderstanding." - from GPT
4. "Freedom is what we choose to do from what has been done to us." > little tweak from Paul Sartre's "Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you"
5. "An uncertain life is full of possibilities." - Caroline Ingalls, Little House on the Prairie (Netflix version, 2026)
6. "Freedom is what you [choose to] do with what's been done to you" – Paul Sartre
7. “(…)But it [money] not worth much if you can't face yourself in the mirror. Respect is the ultimate currency. I was stealing from a man who traded his away for a few dollars. And then he tried to wash away his guilt. Drown it in a lifetime of good deeds and a sea of respectability. It almost worked, too. But inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you. And they do. Certain. It will not fail.” – Dalton Russel, Inside Man.
8. “I am a part of all that I have met.” - Alfred Tennyson, The Complete Poetical Works of Tennyson
9. "Because the truth is so much harder to face. My devil face, devil wings, everything that has been happening to me. I've brought this upon myself. How's about that for starters? (...) If I'm doing this to myself, then the real truth is... The real truth is... There is something rotten inside of me. I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of voices whispering in my ear, telling me I am evil. I'm drowning, doctor. And I can't stop asking myself: why do I hate myself so much?" - Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer season 4 episode 8
10. "I majored in pain, with a minor in suffering." Female Asuran, GuildWars2
11. “ - Are you gonna base your life on someone you're stuck with on a room?
I'm gonna base this moment on who I'm stuck with. It's what life is. It's a series of rooms. And who we get stuck on those rooms with, adds up to what our lives are. (dialogue between dr. House and patient Eve, episode “One day, One Room”, Season 3, Episode 12)
12. "Your failure is only funny if you try." - Champion Infinity Coil, GuildWars2
13. "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do" - John Wooden
14. "You don't make a photograph just with a camera. You bring to the act of photography all the pictures you have seen, the books you have read, the music you have heard, the people you have loved." - Ansel Adams
15. “Honor Is In The Heart, Not In The Name.” – Yasuo, League of Legends
16. “Better Dead Than Dull.” – Katarina, League of Legends
17. “This World Is Changing… We Decide Into What.”- Kai’Sa, League of Legends
18. “The Will Comes From Within, Not From The Blade.” – Akali, League of Legends
19. “A True Master Is An Eternal Student.” – Master Yi, League of Legends
20. “To Live Under A Boot, Is Not To Live.” – Irelia, League of Legends
21. “If life is my curse, then living is the cure.” – Senna, League of Legends
22. “We Are What We Overcome.” – Pantheon, League of Legends
23. “Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Right.” – Camille, League of Legends
24. “The grave is silent. You’re buried in all the things you never said.” – Senna, League of Legends
25. “The goats are wise; eat everything, climb everything, and if something kicks you, kick it back!” – Braum, League of Legends
26. “Live today like you’re going to die tomorrow.” – Irelia, League of Legends
27. “Do not fear the shrouded path.” – Zed, League of Legends
28. “Those who do not know their limits will never reach their potential.” – Lee Sin, League of Legends
29. “I will struggle, I will fail, but to surrender is a privilege I do not have.” – Lee Sin, League of Legends
30. “Secrets are sharper than blades.” – Cassiopeia, League of Legends
31. “Every problem is an opportunity.” – Cassiopeia, League of Legends
32. “I may be outnumbered, but not even the odds can stand against me!” – Xin Zhao, League of Legends
33. “Experience is the best teacher.” – Taliyah, League of Legends
34. “To conquer our fears, we must move forward.” – Taliyah, League of Legends
35. “Never settle for second.” – Wukong, League of Legends
36. “Nothing’s lost. It’s just waiting to be found.” – Sivir, League of Legends
37. “Living in fear is not living at all.” – Sejuani, League of Legends
38. “People fear what they cannot understand.” – Syndra, League of Legends
39. “You only live once. If you do it right, that’s all you need.” – Ezreal, League of Legends
40. "I already know what's wrong with you. You're unhappy. You're isolated. You think you're the cause of this unhappiness and are unworthy of affection so you've few friends. Recently you lost something you think very important. Your lover, your faith, your family, or all three. You blame yourself for this, so it makes you neurotic, and you don't sleep and don't eat anything healthy anyway. You used to take care of your appearance, but you've lost interest in that, so you avoid mirrors. Sunlight bothers you, so you avoid that too, about which you're guilty because you think it's unhealthy and even immoral not to like the sun. You're not a woman of convention or you wouldn't be here, but you like to pretend you are so people don't notice you. But you sometimes like that as well, and can dress to draw the eye. But then you think the men who look at you are fools, or worse, to be taken in by such an obvious outward show. So, instead you're drawn to dark, complicated, impossible men, assuring your own unhappiness and isolation because, after all, you're happiest alone. But not even then because you can't stop thinking about what you've lost, again, for which you blame yourself. So the cycle goes on, the snake eating its own tail." - Dr Seward, Penny Dreadful, season 03 episode 01
41. "What we do in life, echoes in eternity." - Maximus Decimus Meridius, Gladiator (film)
42. “Just as our eyes need light in order to see, our minds need idea in order to conceive. And if it can conceive, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
43. “It is what I am when I’m not thinking about what I’m doing. It is what I am when I am put to the test. It is what I am even when I appear to be brave.” – Tris, Divergent (book one).
44. “What Is Broken Can Be Reforged.” – Riven, League of Legends
45. “Those who wait to be freed do not deserve freedom.” – Sylas, League of Legends
46. “Her Eyes Were Portraits Of A World Without My Cruelty.” – Viego, League of Legends
47. “Wear A Mask Long Enough, And You Forget The Face Beneath.” – Yone, League of Legends
48. “Art Bridges The Gap Between People. Governments, Not So Much.” – Sona, League of Legends
49. “More than what we do not understand, we fear being understood.” – Swain, League of Legends
50. “There are three certainties in life: honor, death, and hangovers.” – Yasuo, League of Legends
51. “To see the world in black and white is to blind yourself to all of life’s colors.” – Morgana, League of Legends
52. “A Clever Fox Is Never Caught.” – Ahri, League of Legends
53. “A Man Once Told Me To Put On Some Clothes. So I Wore His Skin.” – Evelynn, League of Legends
54. “I’ve Become What I Must Be.” – Yorick, League of Legends
55. “Hate and love are just two words for passion.” – Evelynn, League of Legends
56. “Humans think that to believe in something, you have to be serious about it. That’s their problem.” – Rakan, League of Legends
57. “It ain’t luck, it’s destiny.” – Twisted Fate, League of Legends
58. “We get as close to death as we can to feel alive.” – Seraphine, League of Legends
59. “People don’t always listen. But that’s no reason to keep quiet.” – Seraphine, League of Legends
60. “When you’re going to change the world, don’t ask for permission.” – Viktor, League of Legends
61. “Humanity is the architect of its own extinction.” – Bel’Veth, League of Legends
62. “One shot for the years we lost, one for the love we can’t get back.” – Lucian, League of Legends
63. “The right word cuts more deeply than a knife.” – Camille, League of Legends
64. “Extremes are easy, it’s the balance that is difficult.” – Camille, League of Legends
65. “Tend to the wounded and pray for the fallen.” – Jarvan IV, League of Legends
66. “If you really want people to talk to you, you have to let them think you have what they want.” – Vi (from Arcane), League of Legends
67. "Sometimes lies were more dependable than the truth." - Ender Wiggin, “Ender’s Game” (1984) by Orson Scott Card
68. “there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft. When you kill a man, you steal a life... you steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness... there is no act more wretched than stealing." - The Kite Runner (2003) by Khaled Hosseini
69. “When we love the world, we live in it.” – unknown
70. “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” - Samuel Beckett
71. “It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” - Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
72. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” - Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan
73. "It's not a sin to get knocked down. It's a sin to stay down" - Carl Brashear, Master Chief Carl, who proved it by becoming the first African American U.S. Navy master diver and the first amputee to be recertified as a diver after losing his leg in a 1966 accident.
74. "You must believe that you are the best and then, make sure you are." Bill Shankley
75. "Do you know what 'fear' stands for? - False Evidence Appearing Real" (Nightcrawler film, 2014)
76. “[fear stands for] Fuck Everything And Run.” – Stephen King in Doctor Sleep and Bag of Bones
77. "[fear stands for] Face Everything And Recover" - Alcoholics Anonymous and Recovering Addict Dan, from Stephen King’s Doctor Sleep
78. "[fear stands for] Face Everything And Rise" – by Zig Ziglar
79. “If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.” - Malcolm X
80. “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” - Martha Washington
81. "Lo"Have a vision. Think big. Ignore the naysayers. Work relentlessly. Give back" - Arnold Schwarznegger's on his "Five Rules" speech given at the Olympiahalle in Munich. For reference: https://youtu.be/1bumPyvzCyo?si=Xw5VFPwUm5Wqtm9F
82. "Success isn't built on talent alone. It's built on vision, ambition, resilience, relentless work, and leaving the world better than you found it." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
83. "Find your vision. Dream beyond what's reasonable. Let doubt fuel you, not stop you. Outwork your excuses. Use your success to lift others." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
84. "The path to success is simple to describe, difficult to live: know where you're going, dare to aim high, refuse to be defined by doubt, outwork the impossible, and remember that success means little unless it serves others." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
85. "Dream boldly enough to be laughed at. Work hard enough to prove them wrong. Be generous enough to make it matter." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
86. "A clear vision gives direction. Big dreams give momentum. Critics give perspective. Hard work gives results. Giving back gives meaning." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
87. "Your vision is your compass. Your work is the journey. Your character is what makes the destination worthwhile." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
88. "Find your vision, think bigger than others think is reasonable, ignore those who tell you it can't be done, work harder than they expect, and once you've made it, become someone who helps others do the same." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
89. "Everything the naysayers called a liability can become an asset." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
90. "What others see as your greatest weakness may become the very thing that makes you unforgettable." – based on Arnold Schwarznegger's speech given at the Olympiahalle, in Munich.
91. “And so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'" – based on Runyard Kipling’s poem “IF”
92. “Become the kind of person whose character remains unchanged by success, failure, praise, hatred, loss, or power.” – based on Runyard Kipling’s poem “IF”
93. “Live so that neither success inflates you nor failure defines you.” – based on Runyard Kipling’s poem “IF”
94. “The strongest person isn't the one who never breaks; it's the one who keeps building after everything breaks.” – based on Runyard Kipling’s poem “IF”
95. “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” - Thomas A. Edison
96. “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
97. " By the time you realize you have a choice, there is no choice. " - lesswrong.org
98. “CASE: It is not possible. - Cooper: No, it is necessary.” – dialogue between CASE and Cooper in the movie Interstellar.
99. “You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!” - Callie Torres, Grey’s Anatomy
100. "If you believe the possibility exists, then you should do whatever it takes" – Colonel Roy Mustang, FullMetal Alchemist
101. “Love, like grief, tend to fade away and be replaced by something more exciting." – Richard, film “The Beach”
102. "Thank you, Mr. Rochester, for your great kindness. I am strangely glad to get back again to you: and wherever you are is my home—my only home." - Charlotte Brontë’s “Jane Eyre”
103. “Discomfort is the price of admission for a meaningful life.” – Susan David
104. "So you're risking your life for someone who doesnt believe in you? When you really love someone, you don't need proof - you can feel it." – by the genie Cyrus, in “Once Upon A Time – Wonderland”
105. “Hey my babe, ain't that nice... Turn a life style into a paradise?” – song “Young & Able” by Current Swell
106. "WHY you pursue something is just as important as the objective you pursue" (Nightcrawler, 2014)
107. "Because when somebody truly loves you, they can never move on." - Knave of Hearts, , in “Once Upon A Time – Wonderland”
108. “We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” – The Dauntless Manifesto, Divergent (book one)
109. “Jo: Why do you want this so bad? - Carl Brashear: Because they said I couldn't have it.” - Master Chief & U.S. Navy Master Diver Carl Brashear
110. "Don't be afraid of death, Winnie. Be afraid of an unlived life." - Angus Tuck, in “Everlasting Tuck”
111. “Billy Sunday: Nine! The Navy Diver is not a fighting man, he is a salvage expert. Ten! If it is lost underwater, he finds it. If it's sunk, he brings it up. If it's in the way, he moves it. Eleven! If he's lucky, he will die young, 200 feet beneath the waves, for that is the closest he'll ever get to being a hero. Hell, I don't know why anybody would want to be a Navy Diver. Now you report to this line, Cookie!” – Master Chief Leslie W. Sunday (‚Billy') to Carl Brashear in the collection of chronicles depicting the life of Master Chief & U.S. Navy Master Diver Carl Brashear
112. “They wanted to rock, they wanted to roll, they wanted to feel the peculiarly human feeling of having a perfect night in an imperfect world.” - Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by author Rebecca Wells
113. "If my entire life is (...) loud laughter and bold action and the kind of exhaustion you feel after a hard but satisfying day, I will be content." – Tris, Divergent book series
114. "Human reason can excuse any evil; that is why it's so important that we don't rely on it."- Andrew Prior, Divergent book series
115. “I’m a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I’ve any talent is beside the point.” – Michael Caine
116. "It's up to you, Emma. Take a deep breath. And remeber... Stay." - Emma Frost, Marvel Comics
117. "Come on, Emma. Picture it in your mind. Focus." - Emma Frost, Marvel Comics
118. "That's how I survived. Time and time again. That's my secret. I survived because I willed it to be. ... How did I survive apocalyptic fire? I simply refused to feel the flames." - Emma Frost in Dark Reign: The Cabal (Vol. 1, 2009) by Matt Fraction, Marcel Comics
119. “You can box it in, bury it in the ground; You can close it off & turn it away; Try to keep it down, six feet in the ground... Love don’t die.” – by The Fray
120. "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." – A. Saint Exupery
121. “(…) fascinated by everything, dissatisfied until they find out how it works.” – Erudit core behaviour, “Suicide is an act of selfishness. Someone who is truly selfless does not think of himself often enough to desire death.” – Abnegation, Divergent (book one), also in Divergent - Insurgence (book two)
122. “But becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear and how to be free from it, that’s the point.” – Four, Divergent (book one)
123. “Who is he when he isn’t Dauntless, isn’t an instructor, isn’t Four, isn’t anything in particular?” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
124. ‘Who are you when you’re not any of the functions you play in life’) – adapted from the quote by Tris, in the book one of the Divergent series
125. "I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did. I don't." – Tris, Divergent (book one)
126. "My problem might be that even if I did go home, I wouldn't belong there,(...)" – Tris, Divergent (book one)
127. “Haste... will not help.” – Tris, Divergent
128. "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." - Lao Tzu
129. “Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” - Neil Gaiman’s quote from Coraline
130. “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi
131. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” - Oscar Wilde
132. "I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection" - Thomas Paine, in his famous 1776 pamphlet The American Crisis
133. “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – quote wrongfully attributed on the internet to Sor Winston S. Churchill
134. "It's easier to lie to the world than to be honest with yourself." - Designated Survivor 
135. “Mad King Thorn: AHAHAHA! Laugh. or I'll shoot you” – Mad King Thorn, GuildWars2’ yearly Halloween event.
136. “May your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses.” – anonymous proverb
137. “For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too.” - George Carlin
138. "I will follow you into hell if you ask me to." – Riza Hawk Eye to Roy Mustang, in FullMetal Alchemist
139. "Sim, eu acho que a felicidade pode ser tão assustadora quanto a tristeza. Mas é errado negar que uma não existe sem a outra, já que sem a tristeza não apreciariamos a felicidade em nada. Assim como que, sem a solidão, jamais sentiria falta daquela companhia que tanto gostamos e ansiamos em ter - tanto quanto jamais enalteceríamos o silêncio sem conhecer um estrondoso e repetitivo barulho degradante aos nossos ouvidos." - Ivy Ferrari em 04 Fev 2011
140. "Each of us is judged by what we leave behind." - Alec Sadler, Continuum
141. "And it's so much easier to get people to hate something than to believe." - Peter Pan, Once Upon A Time
142. "I don't run from monsters - they run from me." – Regina as the Evil Queen, Once Upon A Time
143. “If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I will tell you who you are. That determines your character. That is the most important thing about you.” – Dale Carnegie
144. "Maybe this world is another planet's hell" - Aldous Huxley
145. "Cachorro que rejeita osso? Pau nele!" - Vitor & Fer Vannucci
146. “Give a bone to a dog and it will chew on it for hours.” – Kiera Cameron, Continuum
147. "Sometimes 'the only winning move is not to play.'." – Wade, Ready Player One
148. "Don't think you are. Know that you are." – Morpheus, The Matrix
149. "Do, or Do Not, There is No Try" - Master Yoda, Star Wars
150. “Creasy: The gunshot holds no fear, say it. - Pita: The gunshot holds no fear. - Creasy: You welcome the sound. In fact it's the sound that sets you free. You are a prisoner on this block until that sound sets you free.” – dialogue between Creasy and Pita during a swimming training session he is helping her with, in the movie Man of Fire
151. “Pita: What was your first girlfriends' name? - Creasy: Nonya. - Pita: Nonya who? - Creasy: Nonya business.” - Man of Fire
152. "I ain't going to let nobody steal my dream" - Master Chief & U.S. Navy Master Diver Carl Brashear
153. “You get in there and fight, Carl. Don't take promises. Bust their rules if you have to. And when it gets hard, and it will, don't quit on me, ever.” – Mac Brashear to Carl Brasher, in Man of Honor
154. "Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose." – C.S Lewis in his 1960’s “the Four Loves” book
155. "Daher ist die Aufgabe nicht sowohl zu sehen was noch Keiner gesehen hat, als, bei Dem, was Jeder sieht, zu denken, was noch Keiner gedacht hat," - Arthur Schopenhauer in his 1851 work, Parerga und Paralipomena.
156. “A tarefa não é tanto ver aquilo que ninguém viu, mas pensar o que ninguém ainda pensou sobre aquilo que todo mundo vê" – pt-br translated version from A. Schpenhauer’s quote, from his Parerga und Paralipomena work in 1851
157. "Ape seek stronger branches." - Caesar, Planet of the Apes
158. "Não é que o gramado do vizinho seja mais verde - é só que você parou pra olhar." – Ivy Ferrari (moi)
159. "After some time you learn the difference, The subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul. And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning, And company doesn’t always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts, And presents aren’t promises. And you begin to accept your defeats, With your head up and your eyes ahead, With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today, Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans, And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn, That even the sun burns if you get too much, And learn that it doesn’t matter how much you do care about, Some people simply don’t care at all. And you accept that it doesn’t matter how good a person is, they will hurt you once in a while, And you need to forgive them for that. You learn that talking can relieve emotional pain. You discover that it takes several years to build a relationship based on confidence, And just a few seconds to destroy it. And that you can do something just in an instant, And which you will regret for the rest of your life. You learn that the true friendships, Continue to grow even from miles away. And that what matters isn’t what you have in your life,
160. But who you have in your life. And that good friends are the family, Which allows us to choose. You learn that we don’t have to switch our friends, If we understand that friends can also change. You realize that you are your best friend, And that you can do do anything, or nothing, And have good moments together. You discover that the people who you most care about in your life, Are taken from you so quickly, So we must always leave the people who we care about with lovely words,
161. It may be the last time we see them. You learn that the circunstances and the enviroment have influence upon us, But we are responsible for ourselves. You start to learn that you should not compare yourself with others, But with the best you can be. You discover that it takes a long time to become the person you wish to be, And that the time is short. You learn that it doesn’t matter where you have reached, But where you are going to. But if you don’t know where you are going to, Anywhere will do. You learn that either you control your acts, Or they shall control you. And that to be flexible doesn’t mean to be weak or not to have personality, Because it doesn’t matter how delicate and fragile the situation is, There are always two sides. You learn that heroes are those who did what was necessary to be done, Facing the consequences. You learn that patience demands a lot of practice. You discover that sometimes, The person who you most expect to be kicked by when you fall, Is one of the few who will help you to stand up. You learn that maturity has more to do with the kinds of experiences you had And what you have learned from them, Than how many birthdays you have celebrated. You learn that there are more from you parents inside you than you thought. You learn that we shall never tell a child that dreams are silly, Very few things are so humiliating, And it would be a tragedy if she belived in it. You learn that when you are angry, You have the right to be angry, But this doesn’t give you the right to be cruel. You discover that only because someone doesn’t love you the way you would like her to, It doesn’t mean that this person doesn’t love you the most she can, Beacuse there are people who love us, But just don’t know how to show or live that. You learn that sometimes it isn’t enough being forgiven by someone, Sometimes you have to learn how to forgive yourself. You learn that with the same harshness you judge, Some day you will be condemned. You learn that it doesn’t matter in how many pieces your heart has been broken, The world doesn’t stop for you to fix it. You learn that time isn’t something you can turn back, Therefore you must plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure. You really are strong. And you can go so farther than you thougt you could go. And that life really has a value. And you have value within the life. And that our gifts are betrayers, And make us lose The good we could conquer, If it wasn’t for the fear of trying." – from the poem After a While You Learn, by Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971) 
162. "Pearls before swine." Matthew 7:6 and also by Hannibal, in Hannibal Rising
163. "Kelogg: This a war, Keira. And every war has something in common with every other war. – Keira: Death. – Kelogg: Sacrifice." – Continuum, season 03 episode 01
164. "Do you think any of us know how to love?! Do you think anybody would ever do anything if they waited until they knew how to love?! Do you think that babies would ever get made or meals cooked or crops planed or books written or what God-damn-have-you? Do you think people would even get out of bed in the morning if they waited until they knew how to love? You have had too much therapy. Or not enough. God knows how to love, kiddo. The rest of us are only good actors. Forget love. Try good manners." - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
165. "(...) and he smelled like cotton and dreams." - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and requoted by Ivy Ferrari to Paul.
166. “Life is short, but it is wide. Genevieve Whitman taught me that.” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
167. “There is the truth of history, and there is the truth of what a person remembers.” – Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
168. “’ What does my smile look like now?’ Vivi wondered. ‘Can you reclaim that free-girl smile, or is it like virginity - once you loose it, that's it?’” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
169. “At the beauty of what she had stumbled onto, at the fear that something terrible would happen because she was not vigilant enough. She cried at the fear of something so good that she would not be brave enough to bear it.” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
170. “Smoke, drink and never think.” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
171. “I have been to the edge and lived to tell the tale.” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
172. “It’s life. You don’t figure it out. You just climb up on the beast and ride.” - Rebecca Wells' novel, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
173. "You don’t have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back. - James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room
174. "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." - J. E. McCulloch
175. "Adapt. Adapt faster, adapt better. Adapt to things no man should have to." - Aman, Allegiant, Divergent series
176. "...sapientiam sine eloquentia parum prodesse civitatibus, eloquentiam vero sine sapientia nimium obesse plerumque, prodesse numquam." – by Cicero, written around 87 BC in his early rhetorical treatise, “De Inventione” (Book 1, Section 1, translating literally into "...wisdom without eloquence is of little advantage to states, but eloquence without wisdom is often highly disadvantageous, and never helpful."
177. "Virtute enim ipsa non tam multi praediti esse quam videri volunt." – written by Cicero, in 44 BC in his philosophical essay on friendship, Laelius de Amicitia (Chapter 98), which translates to: "For there are not nearly so many people who want actually to be possessed of virtue as want to appear to be possessed of it."
178. "Esse quam videri" – famous snipped from Cicero’s words in his work Laelius de Amicitia (‘Sobre a Amizade ‘) as a shorthand maxim meaning "To be, rather than to seem." (also the official state motto of North Carolina state, USA).
179. "E as coisas findas, muito mais que lindas, essas ficarão..." - Carlos Drummond de Andrade
180. "Hope is the only thing stronger than fear." - President Snow, Hunger Games
181. "One man's miracle is another man's accident." - Wood Elves, book of Gods and Worship, Skyrim
182. "You cant steal a wish. It has to be granted." – Alice, Once Upon A Time – Wonderland
183. "Because a pond made out of dessert (marshmallow) makes perfect sense." - Nate (Knave of Hearts), Once Upon A Time – Wonderland
184. “Going outside is highly overrated.” - Anorak's Almanac 17:32, Ready Player One
185. “I dont expect success. I prepare for it.” - Ryan Reynolds (in parfum advertisement poster seen in a Sephora outsider wall in Darmstadt)
186. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Mr Anderson, The Perks of Being a Wall Flower 
187. "Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé. Tu es responsable de ta rose..." – the Fox, in Le Petit Prince (1943), by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, literal translation "You are responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose."
188. “Je n'ai pas le droit de dire ou de faire quelque chose qui diminue un homme à ses propres yeux. Ce qui compte, ce n'est pas ce que je pense de lui, mais ce que lui pense de lui-même. Blesser un homme dans sa dignité est un crime." Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in his 1942 wartime memoir, Pilote de guerre (published in English as Flight to Arras). Literal translation being "I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin."
189. "I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal." - Groucho Marx, Ready Player One
190. "Without their fear, our bravery would be meaningless. You can't fear failure, because in doing so, you're inviting failure. And there's T S Elliot who said: 'only those who'd risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go.'." - Kellog (Continuum)
191. "(...)like when an organ is removed and the body's fluids flow into the space it leaves. Humans can't tolerate emptiness for too long." – Tris, Divergent (book one)
192. "Politeness is deception in pretty packaging." – Christina, Divergent (book one)
193. "The goal of my life isn't just... to be happy." – Tris, Divergent (book one)
194. "(...)part of being Dauntless is being willing to make things more difficult to yourself in order to be self-sufficient." – Tris, Divergent (book one)
195. “Dauntless compound sounds like home now – at least there, I know exactly where I stand, which is on unstable ground.” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
196. "We are Dauntless, and we need to act accordingly." – Tris/Eric/Four, Divergent (book one)
197. “…understand the kind of camaraderie that forms only after you’ve all risked your lives together.” – Divergent (book one)
198. “Learning how to think in the midst of fear (…)” – Four, Divergent (book one)
199. “- terror and helplessness, which I suspect is what I am really afraid of.” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
200. “I jumped off because I already was like them, and I wanted to show myself to them. I wanted to acknowledge a part of myself that Abnegation demanded that I hide.” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
201. “Who among us is brave enough to venture into that darkness without knowing what lies beyond it?(…)” – the ‘bravery’ excuse Dauntless found for suicide, Divergent (book one)
202. “That is death – shifting from ‘is’ to ‘was’.” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
203. “People are flawed and I should be lenient with them.” – Tris, Divergent (book one)
204. “but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.” – Andrew Prior, Divergent (book one)
205. “Like a wild animal, the truth is too powerful to remain caged.” – Candor manifesto, Divergent (book two)
206. “Inquisitiveness is self-serving” – Abnegation, Divergent (book two)
207. “(…)an important lesson: how to keep going.” – Tris, Divergent (book two)
208. “You see, ingenuity – one of the qualities we most value in Erudite – requires creativity. Sometimes creativity seems wasteful, illogical … unless it’s done for a greater purpose.” – Eric, Divergent (book two)
209. “(…)that it would be nice if life worked this way, striping the dirt from our lives and sending us out into the world clean. But some dirt is destined to linger.” – Tris, Divergent (book two)
210. “People just want to be happy, even if it’s not real.” – Four, Divergent (book two)
211. “Knowledge is a costly thing…” – child’s play song, Divergent (book two)
212. “You just have to ask yourself what the most logical response to a particular situation is.” – Tris, Divergent (book two)
213. “(…) how to fight even when fighting seems useless.” – Dauntless core behaviour, Divergent (book two)
214. “We don’t need you as an ally. We’re Dauntless.” – Tori, Divergent (book two)
215. “Inhale. Aim. Exhale. Fire.” – Four, Divergent (book two/one)
216. “Discipline is the fuel of achievement.” – Australian mixed martial artist Soa "The Hulk" Palelei
217. “Arrogance has to be earned.” – dr. Gregory House, House,md.
218. “Everybody lies.” – dr. Gregory House, House,md.
219. “Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.” - Ready Player One
220. "There's always a flaw in the system." – Betee, the Hunger Games
221. "Let's go and say a prayer for a boy who couldn't run as fast as I could." - Angels in Dirty Faces quoted in Lorenzo Carcaterra’s book Sleepers
222. “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
223. “Imagination creates reality.” – Richard Wagner
224. “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.” – Oscar Wilde in his essay "The Critic as Artist"
225. “Whatever you do, do it well.” – Walt Disney
226. “May the bridges I burn light the way.” - popularized in modern streetwear culture by the fashion brand Vetements, during their Autumn/Winter 2016 and 2017 collections.
227. “Life is like photography:- you use the negatives to develop.” – unknown
228. “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” – Henry Ford
229. "Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." – William Faulkner, from his famous 1956 Paris Review interview

.

I feel empty, hollow, adrift.
Like a stained glass bottle, that held different liquids and solids for a long time, permanently staining its inner surfaces, an imprint of something long gone. Now an empty shell moving aimelessly on the neverending ocean. 
I walk around --- Eu ando por aí
Often so carefree --- muitas vezes tão despreocupada 
observing in all places --- observando em todos os lugares
some amazing sightings to see --- vistas incríveis de se ver

Some, filled with so much history, --- algumas cheias de tantas histórias
Of remarkable past and cultural indetities, ---  de notáveis passados e identidades culturais
But none of which could possibly belong to me, --- mas nenhum poderia possivelmente pertencer a mim
and never I, to it. --- e nunca eu a eles (esses lugares)

An outcast amidst --- uma pária em meio de
A sea of new and ol' faces, --- um mar de rostos novos e já conhecidos 
each hiding a story and --- cada um escondendo ua história e
a bravery we not always get to meet. --- uma coragem que nem sempre a gente tem a chance de ver/conhecer 

And some of us worry --- e alguns de nós nos preocupamos 
That with each face  --- que  om cada rosto
comes a chance of disappointment; --- vem uma chance de decepção 
an ache started from ourselves, --- uma dor partindo de nós mesmos
a reflection on others with us involved. --- um reflexo naqueles que estão envolvidos conosco
But with each face also comes --- mas com cada rosto, tem também 
a surprising potentiality --- um potencial surpreendente
of spectacular future past memories. --- de espetaculares de um futuro do passado.



De cacos a muito e a nada.

Uma peça de um jogo de xadrez, em um tabuleiro de damas... que se quebra, se estilhaça em mil cacos de vidro coloridos, reluzindo uma luz que nao se refrata nem reflete... e esses cacos vao se juntando, formando uma cena de mozaico... uma menina, sentada numa mureta azul mediana, usada de parapeito de um corredor extenso, com varias portas do lado oposto da mureta... um corredor cheio de pessoas, a maioria jovens, conversando entretidos entre si, sem notar a menina na mureta, que os observava enquanto observava o cenario todo, caquinhos de vidro coloridos amontoados no meio de suas maos fechadas em uma concha em seu colo... e entao um sinal alto, barulhento, estridente ressoa por todo o lugar, e enquanto o corredor se apinhava e esvaziava, ela fecha as maos sobre os cacos, e antes que a primeira gota de sangue atingisse o chao, a menina desaperece no ar.

Autumn Leaf 🍂


Sonnet XXVI, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I lived with visions for my company 
Instead of men and women, years ago,
And found them gentle mates, nor thought to know
A sweeter music than they played to me.
But soon their trailing purple was not free
Of this world’s dust, their lutes did silent grow,
And I myself grew faint and blind below
Their vanishing eyes. Then thou didst come⁠—to be,
Beloved, what they seemed. Their shining fronts, 
Their songs, their splendours⁠—better, yet the same,
As river-water hallowed into fonts⁠—
Met in thee, and from out thee overcame
My soul with satisfaction of all wants⁠—
Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.

Breathe

A poem I read and listened to the other day, that resonated deeply. Unavoidably.


Breathe, by Becky Hemsley

She sat at the back
and they said she was shy,
She led from the front
and they hated her pride.

They asked her advice
and then questioned her guidance,
They branded her loud
then were shocked by her silence,

When she shared no ambition
they said it was sad,
So she told them her dreams
and they said she was mad,

They told her they’d listen
then covered their ears,
And gave her a hug while
they laughed at her fears,

And she listened to all of it
thinking she should,
Be the girl they told her to be
best as she could,

But one day she asked
what was best for herself,
Instead of trying
to please everyone else,

So she walked to the forest
and stood with the trees,
She heard the wind whisper
and dance with the leaves,

She spoke to the willow,
the elm and the pine,
And she told them what she’d
been told time after time,

She told them she felt
she was never enough,
She was either too little
or far far too much,

Too loud or too quiet,
too fierce or too weak,
Too wise or too foolish,
too bold or too meek,

Then she found a small clearing
surrounded by firs,
And she stopped…and she heard
what the trees said to her,

And she sat there for hours
not wanting to leave,
For the forest said nothing
it just let her breathe.

Prece de Cáritas

Deus nosso Pai,
que Sois todo poder e bondade,
dai força àqueles que passam pela provação,
dai luz àqueles que procuram a verdade,
e ponde no coração do homem a compaixão e a caridade.

Deus,
dai ao viajante a estrela Guia,
ao aflito a consolação,
ao doente o repouso.

Pai,
dai ao culpado o arrependimento,
ao espírito, a verdade,
à criança o guia,
ao órfão, o pai.
Que a vossa bondade se estenda sobre tudo que criaste.
Piedade, Senhor, para aqueles que não Vos conhecem, e
esperança para aqueles que sofrem.
Que a Vossa bondade permita aos espíritos consoladores, derramarem por toda à parte a paz, a esperança e a fé.

Deus,
um raio, uma faísca do Vosso divino amor pode abrasar a Terra, deixai-nos beber na fonte dessa bondade fecunda e infinita, e todas as lagrimas secarão, todas as dores acalmar-se-ão.
Um só coração, um só pensamento subirá até Vós,
como um grito de reconhecimento e de amor.
Como Moisés sobre a montanha,
nós Vos esperamos com os braços abertos.
Oh! bondade, Oh! Poder, Oh! beleza, Oh! perfeição,
queremos de alguma sorte merecer Vossa misericórdia.

Deus,
Dai-nos a força no progresso de subir até Vós,
Dai-nos a caridade pura,
Dai-nos a fé e a razão,
Dai-nos a simplicidade que fará de nossas almas
O espelho onde refletirá um dia a Vossa Santíssima imagem.

overthinking



Not because of the mistakes themselves, but eventually I had to adapt my behaviour in order to be able to manage the consequences  or the outcomes of the consequences of those mistakes. In some cases the new adapted behaviour made me more seasoned, tougher, smarter... in all cases, they broke my soul in a lesser or grander degree... but I guess even broken glass can shine.

Thoughts

I'm thinking about how many millions of people speak up without thinking even once about whatever it may be in advance... yet, in my attempt to not make that same mistake, I only managed to silence my voice so much, that now my thoughts are nothing but a rainbow scrambled in smoothie of tones, while I comfortably fenced myself out and away from everyone, consciously kept in my private little world. Yet, I'm not convinced I'm in the wrong, but I'm sure I'm not right. C'est la vie. :)

Enquanto seu silencio ecoa,
eu me pego vulneravel, perguntando ao vento:
Quando terá começado?

Essa necessidade infundada,
esse querer tao latente,
e essa importancia tao desmerecida
da sua pessoa esclarecida,
mas cujas palavras iniciais tao queridas,
sempre vem acompanhadas
de futuras memorias tao doloridas... 

O tempo passa,
e a gente envelhece,
e ao contrario do esperado,
muito embora a maturidade o desenrolar do destino nao me tivesse negado,
a fragilidade voce de volta trouxe,
e sem expectativas percebidas,
permiti que vc viesse a minha mesa,
que outrora lindamente vazia,
para minha querida solidao a mais perfeita companhia,
passou entao a contar com risos e conversas excitantes,
perdidas para sempre no percalco deixado pelo vazio do baque surdo,
da sua saida tao fria e dilacerante.

E agora onde antes havia um coracao partido,
ha tambem uma alma estilhacada,
e sonhos novamente nao correspondidos.

18 Months

Have you ever been caught in a storm, at the sea?
You get soaked first, no matter how fancy is the waterproof in your clothes.
You perk up and you can see a little glimpse of light, the shore which is far away but reachable still. 
So you try to get grip of the oars, but your hands are wet and the tides are strong, and sooner than later, they take the oars away.
And before you can make any sense of the situation, your boat gets flipped, and along with the tides everything goes, even your hopes. 
The under current sweeps you away and seem to be caught between half drawning and being half conscious. 
The tides are dark and you can't make a thing.
But survival instinct is a thing so you kick your legs and you move your arms. You thrust yourself upwards, you aim for the surface, a glimpse of the sky. 
And kick and you fight and when you finally make it, the storm is still there.
More water splashing on your face. The rain is heavy and the drops are sharp. Waves crash on you and there's no one to see you scream. There's no one to hear you cry. 
Exhaustion wins over and you want to move but it fails you.
You start drowning and as water fills your lungs you give up the fight. 
And you realize that before you wash up on the shore, the current will drag you down and drown you.
And you realize, you ever only had yourself but now you no longer do.
So... You just... Stop.

Gaslight

They painted a world
Bright and colorful
Sprinkled with smiles 
And subtle melodies
Nice gestures 
And pleasant policies 

But in just one concealed blob,
The colours started to fade
And the smile turned two-faced.
In that just one blob,
The melodies turned to a deafening silence
And the gestures, a trap in the dark.

The truth now so hard to see
Was placed in my hands;
A sharp knife to cut myself free,
but which instead bled my hands and sliced my feet.

It's no wonder
That I feel as if I can't breathe.
My deepest wish,
that I would simply cease to be.

Blinding silence

Oh, my heart, my dear heart,
What is it that you deeply crave for?
Whose face and voice and warmth do you miss so?

Oh, dear child,
For you are only a child in your soul--
This is an answer you know all too well!
For very few things escape the eye of a child.
Only they forget easily...
And isn't oblivion the truest of the blessings?

I crave what we always craved:
The warmth and scent of a skin 
That ports us so easily into a dream;
The voice and words of a mind
That is as fascinating as it is kind;
The eyes, the smile and the face,
That steals our control over our own heart's pace;

We always loved the rain on a cold grey day
But isn't it thrilling
When our soul is filled with a non-ordinary passion,
that can only come from a corresponded feeling,
like flowers on the Spring of May?

Oh, dear child,
I beat sadly, but hopeful,
Because we've farred, 
we lived and loved,
and we risked it all.

We took a gamble, 
and seized every moment of it,
Ever so reliant, ever so capable.

You did so well,
You gave your best,
No matter if all we had left
Was a tragic tale
And a little remain of ourselves.

As well as the knowledge
That we miss that half that no one else resembles,
Not even that half itself.

Still, we remain,
Praying for a good dream,
Every now and again,
Perhaps even in this life's stream.


(written on March 10th)
Identificar o azul do céu
o dourado do sol refletido na superfície da água
é um luxo 
que certos Estados de alma não nos permite admirar.

Mas quando nos falta a visão
ou mesmo olfato e audição-- 
O tato nos permite lembrar
por meio de uma singela brisa fresca 
ou uma gota de suor ou ressecamento de frio
de que nada dura pra sempre e que o universo,
assim como a vida, é imenso demais 
fazendo de nós um singelo grão de areia
na beira dessa praia
ora abençoada, ora amaldiçoada,
que se traduz em nossas vidas.

Sara

Eu quero te contar uma história. 
--
Era uma vez uma garota que em busca de uma vida melhor, deu um abraço carinhoso nos seus pais, acariciou seus bichinhos de estimação uma vez mais e, jogando no seu ombro a única mala que tinha, saiu pelo portão de casa em uma tarde não tão fria de inverno e caminhou em direção ao ônibus que tomaria para a cidade grande.
Lá ela foi viver com um amigo da família: um senhor já de idade que apesar de morar sozinho, recebia visitas constantes de sua amada família. Ele concordou em fazer o favor de alugar o quarto menor que não usava para a menina da nossa história. 
Nossa garota não sabia muito da vida, mas chegando nesta cidade nova, juntou toda a disposição e ânimo que tinha e encarou cada dia a dia com um sorriso no rosto, força nas pernas e coragem no coração. Encantou a algumas pessoas por onde passou, e irritou outras também. Pessoas com opinião própria são assim: não agradam a todos e não há nada de errado com isso.
Sara, nossa garota, trabalhava o dia todo e estudava a noite duas vezes por semana. No fim do dia, estava tão cansada que o que mais queria era estar de volta em sua cama, para ler o seu livro antes de dormir, 6 horas antes de ter que acordar para abraçar mais um dia cheio de novas oportunidades.
Mas ao chegar em casa, se deparava com uma sujeira tão grande em sua cama, que antes mesmo de tomar banho ela precisava, de novo no dia, arrumar e limpar tudo. A sujeira era do neto do amigo da família que a hospedava por um preço, mas que não respeitava seu espaço e deixava seu neto mexer em suas coisas e sujar tudo. 
Numa tentativa que reconciliar a situação, ela tentou conversar com o gentil senhor que a permitia alugar aquele quarto, mas ele riu de Sara, dizendo que o quarto era dele para fazer o que quisesse. Mas oras, ela o lembrou, ela ainda pagava pelo aluguel. E uma moça jovem precisa de sua privacidade. O senhor, já não tão gentil, disse que não ouviria mais daquilo. 
Sara pediu então a seu pai que interviesse e conversasse com seu amigo. Mas seu pai, temendo um atrito que pudesse lhe afetar os negócios, se recusou. E nossa Sara, dizendo a si mesma que aquilo não era de grande importância, se relegou e aceitar uma situação, assim, desrespeitosa. 
Não tardou para que logo dinheiro começasse a sumir, pertences a quebrarem e peças de roupa sujarem constantemente. Vendo-se numa situação sufocante, Sara procurou outro lugar para viver, mas a oferta era baixa e a procura era alta, e a busca ficou cada vez mais difícil. Sentindo-se desamparada e sem espaço para respirar com o mínimo de paz, Sara começou a sair para happy hours com Seus colegas de trabalho, na tentativa desesperada de evitar ficar tempo demasiado naquela situação desrespeitosa. E lá, nos Happy Hours, seu laço de amizade com o rapaz Rodrigo se intensificou, e o que era antes apenas amizade passou para algo mais. 
Rodrigo era um bom rapaz, tinha concluído com mérito sua faculdade e estudava para seu mestrado. Era trabalhador dedicado e um moço independente. Todos os amigos e colegas de trabalho em comum dos dois acreditavam que Sara e Rodrigo eram uma combinação perfeita, visto que ambos eram gentis, dedicados, honestos e com um ótimo compasso de ética e moral. 
Acreditando que seus amigos estivessem certos, Sara se envolveu cada vez mais com Rodrigo. E, para o alívio de Sara, Rodrigo logo virou também um refúgio. 
Mas refúgios não são garantidores de um futuro melhor, e a situação na moradia de Sara ficou cada vez pior. Sem dormir direito, o desempenho de Sara decaiu tanto na escola quanto no trabalho. Ela viu sua aparência ficar abatida e até mesmo perder a cor. Antes que pudesse processar o que acontecia consigo mesma, ela entrou em estado deprimido e em modo automático. Saía se amigos chamassem. Já não discutia com seu chefe no trabalho, o que não agradou muito ao chefe, pois apesar das discussões, ele sempre apreciou as opiniões detalhadas e construtivas da moça. Não tinha vontade de fazer nada, mas ainda se encontrava com Rodrigo, que tentava a reanimar com idas a eventos de músicas que ambos gostavam, visitas a restaurantes diferentes e legais, filmes e séries inspiradores. 
Mas uma bela manhã, quando Sara ainda dormia, Rodrigo a acordou com toques que apesar de carinhosos ela não os queria. E sem cerimônia alguma ou consideração pelas recusas da moça que saía com ele há alguns meses e vez ou outra dormia em seu apartamento, Rodrigo forçou obter o que dela queria.
Sem forças pra discutir ou reagir, Sara sequer conseguiu processar o ocorrido. Cansada e sentindo-se drenada de energias, de certa forma suja e machucada, ela voltou para o quarto onde pagava seu aluguel. Ignorando as tentativas de conflito com o dono, ela dirigiu-se para o banheiro, onde tomou o que lhe parecia ser o banho mais demorado de sua vida (pois não conseguia, por mais que esfregasse a bucha, tirar aquela sensação de sujeira), e só saiu quando (de novo) o dono desligou a águia quente na central que ficava na cozinha, dando na moça um chique térmico. Tensa pela choque térmica e atordoada pela barulheira em sua mente, ela foi-se deitar em sua cama, que novamente estava suja e desarrumada - uma sujeira e desordem novamente feitas por outrem. Não conseguiu dormir, nem entender o que sentia nem como nem porque. Não tinha fome, nem sede nem vontade de nada.
Mas voltou ao trabalho. Seja o que fosse, o relógio de ponto que registrava a presença de todos não perdoa ausências, não importa de qual tipo. E as contas precisavam ser pagas.
Rodrigo tentou falar com ela, mas sem sorte em obter algo além de um olhar vago da moça, pois Sara não sabia o que nem como responder algo a ele nem a ninguém. E sentia-se mal e culpada por agir assim, pois o Rodrigo havia sido alguém em que confiava.
Algumas semanas depois, quando o projeto de Sara foi concluído e o contrato de trabalho não foi renovado, um amigo de Sara a telefonou para conversar a toa. Era um amigo de infância muito insistente e que aos poucos foi conseguindo reações da moça, mesmo que breve e pequenas. Ora um riso curto, ora uma reprimenda. E em meio a um papo sobre envolvimentos amorosos, Sara contou ao seu amigo sobre como havia conhecido alguém, mas que não havia dado certo. Seu amigo de infância quis saber porque não, e ela contou sobre o ocorrido naquela estranha manhã, onde ela fez sexo com Rodrigo depois que ele insistiu muito, apesar dela já ter recusado várias vezes. Ela disse ao seu amigo pelo telefone que não entendia o porquê de não conseguir ficar mais perto de Rodrigo, já que "nada de mais" tinha acontecido. Um silêncio seguiu-se ao telefone e, sem saber muito bem escolher suas palavras seu amigo de longa data a disse: "vc já estava numa situação desprovida de respeito onde vc mora, e o tal Rodrigo, o que ele fez... foi praticamente um estupro... Vc realmente não sabe mais por que não se importa com mais nada na vida?" 
Estupro. Precisou de um amigo seu dizer pra ela que entendesse. Oras pois, onde já se viu uma pessoa forte se permitir chegar a tal ponto em que algo assim acontece? Então ela não era forte, talvez nunca tivesse sido. Não, estupro, como dizem, é coisa que acontece com gente fraca. Mas se fosse "coisa de gente fraca", pensou, isso não aconteceria com crianças ou mesmo adultos indefesos. Aquele ato que a sociedade adora dizer que só acontece com pessoas fracas, ou que se vestem de uma maneira provocadora, como se pedissem. Mas oras, se pedissem, então seria um ato consentido, não passível de ser rotulado de estupro. Não obstante, estupro se tivesse algo a ver com força, seria devido a necessidade do criminoso em subjulgar alguém; nada tendo a ver com a força ou fraqueza da vítima. Mas nada disse importa. Única coisa que deveria importar é o crime cometido.
Estupro. A palavra ecoou na mente de Sara e levou alguns dias para ela compreender a situação insana em que se encontrava. E quando compreendeu, entendeu que se não fosse pela necessidade que sentia de ficar longe de um ambiente de desrespeito e turbulência, mas que era pra ser seu aconchegante lar, ela jamais teria feito de sua vida social e romântica um refúgio. Não teria deprimido e não teria ficado sem forças pra lutar ou fugir de uma situação em que lhe roubam a identidade, dignidades, respeito e escolhas que é a situação de estupro. 
E numa chuvosa manhã fria de outono, ela tomou sua decisão. Fechou suas malas e, partiu sem dizer adeus. 
E foi assim que aquela menina, outrora cheia de sonhos e confiança em um futuro melhor, foi-se embora não somente de um lar hostil, mas da vida. E ficou apenas a carcaça de uma Sara com uma identidade vazia a ser reconstruída sobre os alicerces de algo irreparável.

Kernel

Despite all odds of being on a rainy land, the sun shined bright and warm on that day. It was a long trip on the train, but I could barely hear the sound of the wheels against the tracks, so loud was the beat of my heart, aching and weeping tears my face was working so hard to contain. Occasionally I would be brought back to reality, by the voice of the man who was as guilty of the upcoming crime as I was. 
But since I held the ultimate chance of not walking through those doors, or running away once I was already in, Choice banned me from any self-pity or self-loathing, making of me the ultimate responsible of all.
When I regained consciousness, I recall the tears were no longer just on my heart, but now also ran down my face. The crime could never be undone. I had committed the worst case of theft a human being could ever accomplish, and the knowledge that I hadn't been the only one, made no difference to dress the wound forever opened, not in my body, but in my soul.

For theft, you see, is the worst crime of all. 
When you steal a candy, you impede a shop owner of a profit he could otherwise put towards the up keep of his family. 
But theft is not just the appropriation of something not entitled to the one performing or profiting from the action. 
Theft has many forms, thus making it the most vile human crime. 
A lie, for an instance, is the theft of knowledge, for it robs someone their right to the truth.
An assault robs someone the right of choice, and that's just on the surface. In many cases it can steal someone's identity, removing from them the sense of belonging, of placement, of self-love and of their will to live or even from the simple will to do anything at all.
A murder not only takes away someone's life, but also takes away the many human interactions both friends and enemies could hold with the now deceased one.
Abandonment is a deceitful theft, for it steals both from the victim and from the wrong-doer. The victim, restrained to never knowing the feeling of love and belonging, the wrong-doer not only robbing himself the chance of love and belonging, but also the chance of learning the surprising things one may achieve through commitment,. Both robbed of a future for no reason other than fear.
So as you see, theft is the most vile of all crimes, for at its essence, it encompasses them all.

And I am forever a criminal. But label is not of any importance. It's the full awareness that gnals my soul, killing me inside out without ever rendering me dead, for death in this case would be nothing but a show of compassion -- something I haven't earned at all.

I've known love and overcoming all of my life. More so, I've known overcoming through love my entire life. From being rigged to die, countless times, from birth, to being kept alive by a mother's devotion even when the odds were not in favour. Becoming trapped in a body that failed basic functions, and yet overcoming that by the love of the same mother who, despite all other never-light life's challenges, never gave me up and, most importantly, never let me gave up on myself. From surviving poverty, starvation and the imminent prospect of lack of alphabefization and education, solely because that one parent, alone in all her actions, refused to give up even when the darkest of times tried to take the best of her. 
So if anything, my brave, persistent and loving mother showed to me, my entire life, that overcoming is nothing but a choice you make every day, despite any fear or unfortunate events life throws on our way. I became living proof that the sun shines after the storm, and that the wreckage can be dealt with, sometimes even reused for better days. 
Despite it all, t'was in lieu of fear, that I walked in that room and consented that my own only true creation be removed from me. 
Out of fear of exposing my creation to a hopeless, monstrous and decaying life, I became a monster myself, decaying through a hopeless guilt and everlasting awareness about the life I robbed, an echo hurting from a wound I crafted myself in my own soul, the price for the most unforgiving choice of all. 

I walk around 
rarely so carefree
observing by places
some amazing sightings to see

Some, filled with so much history,
remarkable past and cultural indetities,
But none of which could possibly belong to me,
and never I, to it.

A sea of faces,
each hiding a story and
a bravery we not always get to meet.

And some of us worry
That with each face 
comes a chance of disappointment;
an ache started from ourselves,
a reflection on others with us involved. 
But with each face also comes
a surprising potentiality
of spectacular future past memories.
How far must I swim
Before, while walking, I can feel the grass under my feet?
The freshness of the breeze,
the melody of the wind?
 
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